Dirty Little Secret
by Ayane Sakurai
Summary: What do you do when your best friend's boyfriend, who you happen to be madly in love with, loses his memory? The bubbly Botan is about to find out . . . [BotanYusuke]
1. Prologue: As a Friend

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters.**

**Dirty Little Secret  
****Prologue: As a Friend**

I had never felt so scared before. Not when I was caught in a spider demon's web. Not at the Dark Tournament, even at the sight of all those raging, bloodthirsty demons. Not even when Hiei threatened to slit my throat if I told his sister, Yukina, the truth about their relationship. No, I had never been so scared up until this point.

Koenma-sama just contacted me, saying there had been an accident. I asked him if anyone had gotten hurt. He told me indeed someone had gotten hurt, and they were unconscious. He told me to hurry and get to the scene, so I could see for myself. And now here I am, soaring through the brisk wind at top speed to get there. I asked for the name of who was hurt, and when I heard it my heart swelled with fear and dread.

Yusuke-kun.

I had to hurry and make sure he was ok. Koenma-sama said he should be fine, but I'm still so worried. What could've happened to Yusuke-kun? He's so strong that I find it hard to imagine someone had hurt him badly enough to knock him out.

I glanced down and see Koenma-sama in his Human World form, along with a few other people. I swooped down and land on my feet, allowing the oar to disappear. I rushed over to Koenma-sama's side. I peered over his shoulder and I immediately felt tears coming to my eyes.

Yusuke-kun was lying on his back, his eyes tightly shut. He was lying here, less than one hundred feet from Sarayashiki High School, his whole body limp. He was as motionless as a corpse and underneath his head a small pool of blood had accumulated.

"What happened?" I asked, choking back my tears.

"Yusuke apparently rubbed another student the wrong way," began Koenma-sama, who was staring down at the unconscious Yusuke-kun, "and he was enraged. The student came at Yusuke, wanting a fight. Yusuke easily triumphed over the student but then one of his friends came from behind and struck a heavy blow to the back of his head with a metal baseball bat."

"Koenma-sama, how do you know all this?" I was in complete awe how Koenma-sama could know the exact course of events. Koenma-sama was wise but I doubt he saw this coming.

"Because I told him! I saw it all!" wailed a female voice. I looked across from me to see a brown-haired girl with tears streaming down her face. In her eyes was a mixture of guilt and sadness as more tears leaked from them.

Keiko-chan, Yusuke's girlfriend. That last part irked me a bit. I'm not trying to say that I don't like Keiko-chan, because I do; we're pretty much best friends. It's just that . . . she had something I wanted. Something that I had desired for quite some time deep within the pits of my essence. She was so lucky. She had what I yearned for so badly.

"Yusuke!" she cried out, burying her face in her hands. "It's all my fault!"

"Calm down, Keiko," said a male voice. "It'll be ok." I then saw a man with red hair (actually, more like orange) standing across from Koenma-sama and I. He looked down at Yusuke-kun. "Urameshi's been through worse. I'm sure he'll be fine."

Kazuma Kuwabara-kun. I also saw near him his elder sister, Shizuru Kuwabara-san. She glanced down at Yusuke-kun and her expression was indifferent. She took out a cigarette and a lighter, sticking the deadly product between her lips and lighting it. I really don't approve of her smoking, since I happen to know for a fact it can take more than ten years off your life, but I can't exactly force her to quit. A faint groaning noise is heard.

I gasped and looked down. Slowly, Yusuke-kun's eyes blink open. He sat up, his hand clinging to the back of his head. "Ow . . . my head," he winced, biting his lip in pain. He brought his hand back and glanced at it, looking queasy at the sight of his own blood painted on his palm.

"Yusuke!" rejoiced Keiko-chan, dropping to her knees. She wrapped her arms around Yusuke and pulled him close, tears of joy shedding profusely. "You're ok!"

I thought it was so sweet–even picture perfect the way Keiko-chan swooped down and embraced her lover. But something troubled me. Yusuke-kun's reaction didn't seem fit. He should be smiling and holding her back with a pleasant look in his eyes. But there is none. He doesn't hug her back but rather tenses up. He did not look pleased at the fact Keiko-chan was hugging him. He looked confused and embarrassed as his eyes grew large and his cheeks went pink.

He scrambled away from Keiko-chan, eyeing her very skeptically. Keiko-chan looked at him with perplexed brown eyes, which were now red-rimmed from her crying. "Yusuke, what is it?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"Yusuke . . . is that who I am?" he said in a low voice.

My jaw dropped. No, it couldn't be! Did that blow to the head really do what I think it did? Oh please let this be another one of Yusuke-kun's infamous jokes. Yes. He must be pretending to forget who he is, only to spring up and yell, "Surprise! You guys are so gullible!" But he doesn't.

"Who are you?" His whole body was trembling. He looked at us all with that deer-in-the-headlights look, widened pupils full of paranoia.

"Stop clowning around, Urameshi!" snapped Kuwabara-kun. "You always do stupid jokes like this so you can knock it off!"

Yusuke-kun blinked. "Do what? And who's Urameshi?"

Shizuru-san sighed. "Looks like that blow with the bat did more than bust up his head," she commented, puffing on her cigarette.

"What do you mean?" asked Koenma-sama, puzzled by Yusuke-kun's strange behavior.

"I mean the kid's got amnesia."

Everyone was in shock. Amnesia? Did that mean Yusuke-kun didn't remember any of us? Or even who he was?

Koenma walked up to Yusuke-kun. Yusuke-kun was clearly not himself, for he began to cower as Koenma drew closer, something Yusuke-kun would not normally do no matter how intimidating the person before him was.

"Tell me, do you remember anything?" asked Koenma-sama. "Anything at all?"

Yusuke-kun shook his head. "Not even my name."

"Don't be ridiculous!" snapped Keiko-chan, her voice sounding more desperate than angry. Her face stricken with frustration as she stared hard at him, her eyes welled up with tears. "You're Yusuke Urameshi! Who else would you be?"

Yusuke-kun looked at Keiko-chan with sad brown eyes, with a look that melted my heart. Just looking at his expression made me want to cry. He had the look of a wounded puppy and (what can I say) I'm a sucker for that look.

"I'm sorry," he said, sounding very sincere, "but I don't know any of you people."

Koenma-sama fiddled with his pacifier. "Well, in the meantime, I think we should take care of what happened to your head. Botan."

"Yes, Koenma-sama?" I rushed over to his side.

"Fix Yusuke up, would you?"

I nodded eagerly. "Yes, sir!" I got to my knees and looked Yusuke-kun in the eyes. I placed my hands on both of his cheeks. I didn't blush, but Yusuke-kun did, probably because he doesn't remember me and would be embarrassed at such contact, just like with Keiko-chan's embrace. I concentrated my energy and started to mend the wound in the back of his head.

"What's going on?" he said, glancing up at Koenma.

"Spirit healing. You've got a huge injury in the back of your head so Botan is healing you," explained the ruler, still contemplating what to do about the situation.

"Yusuke really doesn't remember . . . me at all?" Keiko-chan seemed the most heartbroken by Yusuke-kun's amnesia. And I don't blame her. He was the love of her life and he didn't even remember her or anything about their love. How tragically awful.

After I finished closing up Yusuke-kun's wound, I placed my hands to the side and looked him in the eyes. "Are you feeling ok, Yusuke-kun?"

He stared at me and, hesitantly, nodded.

"Thank you . . . Botan, was it?" he said.

I nodded my head and smiled brightly.

"Yes," I said, still wearing that smile. "And you are Yusuke-kun."

"Yusuke?" he repeated.

I nodded and rose to my feet. "What shall we do, Koenma-sama?" I asked. Yusuke-kun had no idea who he was or who we were. Koenma-sama took a great while before he answered me.

"I wish there were some quick method or gadget to restore his memory," he said glumly. "However, we have no access to that kind of technology. The best thing we can do is send him to a rehabilitation center here in Human World."

"Rehab? Isn't that for druggies, alcoholics, and smokers?" asked Kuwabara-kun. After receiving a glare from his sister, he shivered a bit and mumbled an apology to her.

"No," said Keiko-chan, her voice still very frail. "Rehabilitation clinics can be used for other types of diseases or ailments, including amnesia. They help restore the patient's memory overtime." She turned to Koenma-sama. Her bloodshot brown eyes were pleading. "How long will he have to go?"

"I hate using clichés, but only time will tell," said Koenma-sama feasibly.

"In other words, he's got no idea how long until he's gonna be ok . . ." muttered Shizuru-san to herself, her tone rather morbid.

So no one knew how long Yusuke-kun was going to be in rehab. I only stared at the confused teenager as he sat there mumbling nonsense to himself. He would beat this. He would be the same old Yusuke-kun. I just know it. He'll remember me, and Kuwabara-kun, Spirit World, Hiei-kun, Kurama-kun, Shizuru-san, Koenma-sama–everyone! . . . Including Keiko-chan.

I totally approved of Keiko and Yusuke, but I couldn't help but feel . . . jealous. I think my attraction started when Yusuke-kun crossed over as a ghost. He was so silly and immature, yet so devilishly handsome. I knew he cared for me since he was always so worried when I was in danger. I knew that he cared very much about me. I knew that he enjoyed my company. I knew that he liked talking to me. I knew that he loved me.

As a friend.


	2. Chapter One: He's back sort of

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the lovely characters.**

Dirty Little Secret  
Chapter One: He's Back . . . Sort Of

As Koenma-sama wanted, we sent Yusuke-kun to a rehabilitation clinic that specialized with memory loss. When we brought him there, we were told that if someone could come in every day to see him, that would help jog Yusuke-kun's memory. If someone from his past was near him almost every day, then he should be back to normal in no time. Keiko-chan was everyone's first suggestion but she had school, as did Kuwabara-kun and Kurama-kun. Then everyone turned to Shizuru-san but she had work, and quite surprisingly so did Atsuko-san, Yusuke's mother; she was trying to remodel her life and was even cutting down on her alcoholism. Koenma-sama, being second-in-command at Spirit World, naturally couldn't do it and asking Hiei-kun would just be a joke. He hated humans well enough and coming to this place chock full of humans would only make him bolt out the doors faster than the speed of light. So then it came to me, Botan.

Sure, I was the Grim Reaper, but ever since she started taking her training more seriously, Hinageshi-chan opted to take over while I was absent. At first I was a bit against the idea and no, it wasn't because I didn't want to see Yusuke-kun. It was because I would be seeing him _alone_. Now I may be the bubbly ferry girl, but that doesn't mean my cheery thoughts can go astray and new, darker thoughts can fill the newfound space.

Yusuke-kun has no memory. He doesn't remember being a Spirit Detective, or any of his missions, or his near-death experiences, and didn't even know what his name was. He doesn't remember her. He doesn't remember Keiko-chan.

Now I'm not the bad guy here. Keiko-chan was my best friend and I wasn't going to betray her so quickly. Still though, I had thoughts about that, like telling Yusuke-kun I loved him while he still had amnesia. I was worried whether I'd listen to my mind or my heart when I was around Yusuke-kun. I wondered if my self-restraint would withstand the allure of the boy with slicked back hair with large auburn eyes. But when they asked me if I could come in to see Yusuke-kun every day, I nodded, not giving it a second thought.

About a week has passed now and Yusuke-kun's memory still hasn't gotten any better. I tried to be the good friend to Keiko-chan, showing Yusuke-kun pictures of her but still nothing. It was a very hot Saturday afternoon so I was wearing a pink tank top and denim shorts that stopped above my knees. I walked into the rehabilitation center Yusuke-kun was staying at and was greeted at the front desk.

"Oh, Botan-san," said the woman behind the desk. She was rather young, only in her twenties, with her dark brown hair fastened into a loose bun. I smiled.

"Hello, Midori-san," I greeted with a small wave. Midori-san works at the front desk of the clinic. I've been coming here for a while soon we were on a first-name basis. She noticed something in my arms and pointed at it.

"Are those for Yusuke-san?" she asked with a grin.

I blushed a bit and nodded timidly. In my arms rested a glass vase full of flowers. They were all different colors like pink, yellow, and even a few purple ones. "I–I thought they'd brighten up his room," I said truthfully. Midori didn't seem to get it, for she maintained her sly grin.

"Right, just to brighten up his room," she said with a wink. "He's just finished breakfast." I nodded, murmured a quick phrase of gratitude, and walked down the corridor. The sound of a telephone ringing and the shuffling of feet down the tiled flooring was the only noise here. The hallway of doors seemed endless until I reached a door that had 324-A, Urameshi Yusuke written on the whiteboard hanging on it.

I knocked first. "Yusuke-kun? Are you decent?" I waited for his answer, staring down at the flowers as I did so.

"Yeah," came his voice. My hand took the silver knob and I walked inside, seeing Yusuke-kun lying on his bed, wearing only a pair of jeans. I would've blushed if I hadn't seen Yusuke-kun shirtless so many times during fights. He was as chiseled as I remembered, his tan muscles gleaming in the sunlight that shone through the window. "Those for me?" he asked, his brown orbs on the flowers.

"Oh–uh–yes!" I stammered. I walked over to the large windowsill and set down the vase. "I thought they'd cheer you up," I said, smiling at him.

"Just having you visit cheers me up," he said with a smile. I blushed a bit and hoped he didn't notice. I leaned against the wall, crossing my ankles as I looked at him. He was looking up at the television that was attached to the wall. He was watching the morning news. I glanced at it, too. There was nothing interesting.

"What's the matter?" I was startled by Yusuke-kun's voice and jumped slightly. I looked at him and he had that goofy smile on his face. He patted on the other side of his bed. "I don't bite," he teased.

_Go for it Botan! _screamed my inner voice_. No,_ I reasoned._ You are not getting on that bed, Botan. Think of Keiko-chan. Keiko-chan would call you a traitor if you even came near that bed. Don't do it!_

"Please?" he added, an irresistible smile gracing his lips. I felt my knees getting weak. I did want to sit down and leaning against a wall isn't very comfortable. I quickly scanned the room for a chair but saw there wasn't a single one present. _Go for it Botan! Keiko-chan won't find out! Besides, it's Yusuke-kun, shirtless I might add. _The voice in my head kept trying to make me give in to my urges but my common sense rebelled back. There was nuclear war going inside my head, and Yusuke-kun staring at me, waiting for my next move, wasn't helping.

My inner voice won. Sheepishly, I sat down next to Yusuke-kun. "So, how are you?" he asked. He wasn't acting like the Yusuke-kun I was accustomed to. The Yusuke-kun I knew was loud, obnoxious, perverted, immature . . . and yet I loved him. Even though he didn't remember me, I still loved Yusuke-kun. Even though he was with Keiko-chan, I loved him. Can you blame me?

I didn't mean for this to happen, falling in love. It just sort of did. I was drawn to Yusuke-kun like a moth to a flame. The situation was dangerous and if I got too close it could mean trouble, yet I couldn't keep away from my burning obsession with the Spirit Detective. But I still felt guilty as I thought about Keiko-chan.

"I'm fine," I lied rather quickly. "And you?" I turned to face him.

"Now that you're here? Great."

_Bingo! You've got him now! Way to go girl! WHOO! _No, no, no! This was . . . this was wrong. Was Yusuke-kun really . . . was he flirting with me? I couldn't tell. The old Yusuke-kun never said such things to me but this one . . . he's saying that it brightens up his day just to see me. If that wasn't flirting, then I don't know what is. We just stared at each other for a while. I felt my body heating up, and not just because it was hot outside.

Remember Keiko-chan, I thought to myself. Keiko-chan is the one he loves. Keiko-chan is the one Yusuke-kun wants to be with. Keiko-chan is _NOT HERE!_ Keiko-chan's my best friend. I can't just betray her so easily. I reached into the pocket of my denim shorts and pulled out a picture.

"This is Keiko-chan," I said, repeating what I've been trying for the past week. "Your girlfriend." I said that last part with a bit of resentment. Hopefully Yusuke-kun didn't notice. "She . . . she loves you."

He took the picture and stared at it. There was Keiko-chan in her school uniform, a gleeful smile on her face. "I . . . I don't remember," he mumbled to himself. " . . . She looks familiar but . . . I don't know." He looked at me, handing me back the picture. "Botan-chan?"

Botan-chan. No one called me that except for Kuwabara-kun, who I sometimes would call Kuwa-chan. Was this nickname a sign of affection? I couldn't tell, but my heart started beating a bit faster. "Uh, yes, Yusuke-kun?" I asked, a lump rising in my throat.

He blinked his eyes once. I saw his lips curl into a frown as the brown orbs went soft and gloomy. "Do you think I'll ever remember?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"Do I think you'll . . ." I muttered to myself. That was a good question that I couldn't answer. Yusuke-kun wasn't even acting like himself. He was acting totally different. I wasn't sure if his memory would be coming back any time soon. But, as is my nature, I put on a cheery smile and said, "I'm sure you will, Yusuke-kun!" in a very optimistic voice.

He smiled weakly. "Thanks, Botan-chan," he said gratefully.

"Not at all, Yusuke-kun," I said, smiling brightly at him. It pains me to see Yusuke-kun so sad. Yet, the wounded puppy face made him all the more adorable. I wanted to just kiss him. _Do it! Do it now! Here's your chance! He needs the comfort! _I kept trying to silence my inner voice, trying my best not to give in to it. The war in my head waged on. This time, common sense was the victor.

Yusuke-kun and I spent another two hours trying to get his memory to start returning. Then we just decided to play cards. We were playing a game of Go Fish, which I had to remind him how to play. It seemed to be doing wonders for his mood, because now he was smiling and laughing at stupid little jokes we made.

Soon one of the psychologists walked in and said it was time for me to go. He left, saying he'd return in a few minutes. I rose up from the bed and put the deck of cards back in the box. "Sorry, I have to go," I said regretfully.

"That sucks," he said with a frown. I put on a smile, just for him.

"But don't worry," I said in a chipper voice, "I'll come back later on today, ok?"

He smiled at me. "I'd like that, Botan-chan."

Smoothing out my denim shorts, I started heading for the door. "Hey, Botan-chan!"

I turned around, gazing at Yusuke-kun. "Yes?"

"Nice legs!"

"Yusuke-kun!" My face flared red as I saw him get the all too familiar perverted grin on his face. With a huffy sigh, I left the room, my face still as red as a tomato.

He was back.

Sort of.


	3. Chapter Two: All's Fair in Love and War

**Forerunner Notes: It has come to my attention by Vulpixi Misa that in the Japanese series Yusuke is only addressed as "Yusuke" by Botan. She does not refer to him as "Yusuke-kun." However, I personally made the choice to have her refer to him with the affectionate honorific. If this displeases you, I am sorry but it is my story and this is my decision. Oh, and I'm fairly certain Keiko refers to Botan as "Botan-san" so I will be using that as well. That is all. **

Ayane Sakurai

Dirty Little Secret  
Chapter Two: All's Fair in Love and War

It was a cool spring Saturday when Keiko-chan and I went to visit Yusuke-kun in the afternoon. Keiko-chan seemed very uneasy about confronting him, unable to handle the fact that the love of her life does not remember her at all. As one of her best friends, I've been trying to console her by saying that Yusuke-kun would surely remember her. It was only a matter of time before he'd be madly in love with her again. This gentle thought always brought out a small glimmer of hope in Keiko-chan's eyes.

We were outside Yusuke-kun's door and had yet to knock on it. "Botan-san, what if Yusuke never remembers me?" asked Keiko-chan sadly. I glanced at her, soft brown eyes filled to the brim with salty tears. I placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a firm, yet sympathetic, squeeze.

"He will, Keiko-chan," I said reassuringly. "Yusuke-kun will remember you and me and everything will be back to normal." I smiled and Keiko-chan returned the facial expression. Yes, back to normal. . . .

Yusuke-kun was acting a bit more like his former obnoxious, perverted self but was still shooting blanks when it comes to his memory. He seemed very determined to remember every detail of his life but was finding the challenge more difficult than any foe he had ever faced. However, now he was calling me "Botan-chan" and at times it even seemed like we were flirting with each other.

Hopefully, that won't happen today, as Keiko-chan is with me. I knocked on the door for Yusuke-kun's room. "Yusuke-kun, it's Botan and I've brought someone with me." He didn't answer with words but the door opened. Today he was wearing a red muscle shirt and black jeans. "Hey, Botan-chan," he greeted with a smile. He peered over at Keiko-chan. "And who's your pretty friend?"

Keiko-chan blushed a bit and seemed pleased, but I honestly was not. I had no claim over Yusuke-kun so I had no reason to get upset. But still, I felt the gnawing pangs of envy as I heard the playful tone of voice Yusuke-kun used when he complimented her. Still, I was supposed to be the cheery, bubbly best friend so I just kept my carefree composure.

"M-M-My name is Keiko Yukimura," she said, wiping at her damp eyes. "N-Nice to meet you, Yusuke . . ."

"Well come on in," he said, moving to the side. Keiko-chan and I stepped inside, Yusuke-kun shutting the door after us. He sat down on the side of his bed, while Keiko-chan and I pulled up two chairs to sit before him.

"Uh, Yusuke, may I ask you something?" said Keiko-chan timidly.

"If it's about how incredibly hot I am, then why not?" he said with a laugh. I laughed a bit too. Yusuke-kun's sense of humor was one of his most attractive qualities. The perverted thing could get a bit annoying though. Still, Kurama-kun once told me the old saying that, "Every rose has its thorns." So naturally, you accept the good with the bad. But the sad thing was that my rose already had an owner. An owner named Keiko-chan.

"No, it isn't that. I was wondering . . . do you remember me at all?"

Yusuke-kun looked at her, cocking his head to one side. He sighed a bit and shook his head. "Sorry, can't say I do." He pointed at me. "Botan-chan has shown me pictures of you though. She says you're my girlfriend."

Keiko-chan's face turned a bit red. He eyed Keiko-chan a bit more. "Gotta say, I have great taste." Her face went even redder as he laughed to himself.

I smiled, but on the inside I was fuming. These past few days, when it was just Yusuke-kun and I, we were flirting with each other. Now he was flirting with Keiko-chan. Then again, Keiko-chan is his girlfriend and because I constantly reminded him of that fact, it has fixated to his brain. Since I re-introduced her to him by bringing her here, I couldn't help but wonder if he would grow a certain devotion to her. Sure, he may not have remembered Keiko-chan, but if he knew that she was his girlfriend that he might feel a certain loyalty, meaning that he couldn't be mine.

"Listen . . . Keiko, was it? I'm tryin' to get my memory back but I'm having as much luck as an ice cube in hell." Keiko-chan frowned, as did I. Yusuke-kun smirked. "But I'm a thousand percent positive that I'm gonna remember everything, and I'll be back to normal." He looked at both of us. "You two are all I've got right now," he confessed lightly. "So you're gonna have to be patient with me. Can you do that for me?"

"Of course, Yusuke-kun!" I said sunnily. "We'll stand by your side no matter how long it takes." I looked to my side. "Right, Keiko-chan." Keiko-chan nodded. We both looked at Yusuke-kun, and I noticed something we had in common. We both had a longing look in our eyes as we glanced at him. We wanted the same things and different things at the same time. Keiko-chan wanted Yusuke-kun to remember everything, but selfishly, I almost didn't want him to.

Then he would remember Keiko-chan and all his feelings for her. I would be fated to be loved by Yusuke-kun as nothing more than a friend; I would be lucky if he loved me like a sister. I could already picture it. Keiko-chan would be the beautiful girlfriend and I would be fortunate to be seen as the cute friend. There is one thing Keiko-chan and I both want though. And that is Yusuke-kun's love.

Yusuke-kun rubbed the back of his neck and his breath hitched. "My back is killing me," he groaned. All too suddenly, I rose to my feet.

"I'll help you with that," I offered sweetly. I don't know what made me do it, but I walked over to Yusuke-kun and got onto his bed. I sat behind him on my knees and placed my hands on his shoulders. I started to knead the flesh firmly, yet with my own gentleness. Yusuke-kun seemed to enjoy the massage while Keiko-chan looked at me a bit warily.

I couldn't believe I was doing it. I was giving her boyfriend a massage right in front of her. Keiko-chan did not do anything though. She merely sat in her chair but she became quite interested in playing with strands of her hair. "Damn this feels good," moaned Yusuke in content. I smiled.

"What are friends for?" I said plainly. I was trying to play if off that I was just trying to assist a friend, but in truth I was sating my hunger for Yusuke-kun's affection. I loved the way his toned shoulder muscles felt under the pressure of my hands. His skin was as smooth as that of a baby. Though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was enjoying this._Keiko-chan's getting jealous! She won't even look in our direction! Go Botan! Go Botan!_ My inner voice was seriously evil. It drove solely on the purpose of getting Yusuke-kun to love me, no matter what was in the path. My inner voice was selfish and was determined to make Yusuke-kun mine and only mine. I glanced over at Keiko-chan. She was staring at the floor and I could tell she felt uncomfortable.

Yusuke-kun's muscles were no longer tense so I quickly withdrew my hands and got off his bed. I took my rightful seat next to Keiko-chan and acted as though nothing had just taken place. Yusuke-kun looked at me and smiled. "Thanks, Botan-chan."

"Anytime," I replied blissfully.

Yusuke-kun glanced over at Keiko-chan, who had finally looked up from the ground. She was bearing a frown. This did not seem to please Yusuke-kun. "Hey, Keiko," he said to her. Keiko-chan peered up at him. He smiled warmly. "You're at your best when you smile, so go on and smile already."

Keiko-chan did as he commanded and smiled weakly.

Yusuke-kun shook his head. "No, no, no! A real smile. Don't make me crank out the funny faces! Sure, they're for kids but I bet they'd work on you just as good."

Keiko-chan laughed and then smiled in amusement. Yusuke-kun clapped. "There's the million dollar smile!" I felt it again. The harsh pain of jealousy as Yusuke-kun flirted with Keiko-chan. I couldn't help but wonder if Yusuke-kun was going to become a playboy and jokingly flirt with any girl that came by. It hurt to think such thoughts.

Still, I supposed maybe it was right for me to feel that horrible pang of jealousy. After all, that must be what Keiko-chan felt when I was giving Yusuke-kun a massage. Love is a very complicated thing. It can make best friends hate each other. I didn't want Keiko-chan to hate me, _but _I also didn't want to let her have Yusuke-kun either.

The rest of our visit with Yusuke-kun became unbearable. It became quite clear Keiko-chan wanted all of Yusuke-kun's attention. Unbeknownst to her, so did I. I wasn't quite sure if Keiko-chan could tell that she and I were competing for Yusuke-kun's attention, but I was very sure that I wasn't about to just hand him over.

God, listen to me. I sound like a jealous ex-girlfriend or something. Yusuke-kun and Keiko-chan have been officially together for over two years now.They were even childhood friends. That gives Keiko-chan an advantage. I actually never expected this to happen. I never thought that I'd fall in love with Yusuke-kun, knowing full well that he had his eyes on Keiko-chan. But I did.

When our visit with Yusuke-kun was over, he gave both Keiko-chan and I quick hugs. We both turned a slight shade of pink as we embraced him back. It sounds wrong, but even with Keiko-chan there I wanted to hug Yusuke-kun and never let go.

"I hope Yusuke gets his memory back soon," sighed Keiko-chan as we left the rehabilitation clinic.

"I'm sure he will. He's very stubborn so he won't let his memory go without a fight," I replied jokingly. Keiko-chan laughed.

"I suppose you're right. Thank you, Botan-san." She smiled at me and I smiled back..

Keiko-chan and I went our separate ways, and I began to think about Yusuke-kun. I thought about what we could have, I thought about if I should tell him how I feel, and I thought about how Keiko-chan would react if she knew. I wondered if she had suspected it the way we both fought for his attention and how I jumped at the opportunity to give him a shoulder massage. I know that it's wrong what I'm doing. It's an unwritten law in best friend code of honor. There are many unwritten laws, like never go to a party that your best friend wasn't invited to. But I was breaking one of the biggest unwritten laws of them all.

Never fall in love with your best friend's boyfriend.

I value Keiko-chan's friendship very , very much. But love isn't like a machine you can just unplug. No one has the ability to control who they fall in love with. I hate to sound bitter by saying this but Keiko-chan, all's fair in love and war.


End file.
